Yes, its that magical time of year again when my kids ask me everyday if today is Christmas. I know that there are people who love this time of year but it really is exhausting for me. No matter how much I shop, I always feel like I have forgotten someone. With every day that goes by I lose a little bit of my soul and my Christmas cheer. I use to look forward to this time with excitement and glee. Now I dread the fact that the holiday season is just around the corner. I have 2 birthdays to celebrate and then of course the birth of our savior. Its not easy to include birthdays into the holiday festivities. This year I hope to hold on to my cheer a little longer and I also hope to recapture some of my soul. Its not the holiday or the kids that kills but the commercialism and the fact that once Halloween is here they are cramming Christmas down my throat. I really use to get annoyed with the "Celebrate the Reason for the Season" commercial, but now I get it. Its not the gifts, the tree, the 2nd Turkey dinner in 30 days but its the celebration of the birth of the lord and the celebration of family and friends.




So my chirstmas wish for this year is that we all remember why we celebrate and take a few things off of our busy list and enjoy some silent nights and some peace on earth

This week has been full of sadness and happiness all rolled into one.  Almost a week ago my maternal grandmother passed away after suffering a stroke several months ago.  She was the last grandmother I had living and its been a difficult time.  I am dealing with the fact that when I was born all of my grandparents and all of my great grandparents where alive.  In fact when I graduated high school they were still here.  I hate that my children can not say the same.  My oldest son was the last one born with all his great grandparents alive and that was in 1991.  As you get older its not so much your mortality that you have to deal with but the people around you.  I remember my aunts and uncles still being in high school and now they are getting up there in age.  Its scary thinking one day they might not be here.  I have a large family and with it comes loads of love but also loads of people to lose.  I look forward to this weekend when we will put my grandmother in her final resting place as I know once again my family will gather together go give love and support to each other.  I also look forward because I want to make sure to take as many pictures for my children so that no matter what happens there will be pictures of family to remind them of who and where we come from.

****To Madear****

I love you and miss you. I was proud to come from such a strong stock of women.  You gave me hope that my life could continue on as I watched you go to work up until you were hospitalized.  I owe you a great thanks for raising such a wonderful women who would later become my mother.  You will always be remembered and loved for all of you strenght and wisdom.

Love

                                                       Jayde

I almost forgot the happy new, my son Shonn is coming to visit and although its for a sad reason any reason for him to come makes me Smile.