Thursday, April 29, 2010

The single Married mother

 I am a happily married mother of five going on six kids. I have a husband who works 5 days a week and goes to school full time. I too go to school, but I also take care of the kids and run the house on a daily basis. It has come to my attention that even days that he is off I am the primary care giver to our children. Do not get me wrong he does help with little things, like dropping kids off at school, and he now helps with giving baths since it is hard for me to bend over now. I have been a single parent before when I had my first child and it was hard, but I had the help of my mother. It is not that he is not capable of doing things; he just does not do them. Old school parents who believe that a man has his job and a woman has hers raised him. My mother on the other hand primarily raised me and I believe that it should be an equal thing when it comes to kids.

My husband and I go to be at the same hour, but I get up several hours before he does, to cook and clean and deal with the kids. He gets up eats, and then goes to work out or goes to do his homework. I do not have that luxury; I have to get up before the kids do just to take a shower by myself. I often find myself wondering how in the world I have allowed this to go on for so long. You would think that I would have noticed this after the first few kids’ right, well I did but I just let it be and now I really have no supporting arguments. Therefore, I have put myself in this position and here is where I will continue to be. I have 2 kids who can take care of themselves, but my 3 youngest are a real handful and I just wish I could get him to understand it’s not easy to do it all alone. He does see me struggle and always tells me that I do too much, but if I did not do it who would. With baby #6 on the way, I know that I will be up late at night and early in the morning because there will be no help from my husband and he will not lose any sleep over this. Does this make him a bad person, nope, but it does make me an idiot for allowing it to go on for so long and not being able to change it.

In the larger picture I am grateful for my husband he does love me and the children and even if he is not really helpful around the house or with the kids I should be happy that he is here and makes the money. I have chosen to take it all in stride and hope for the best as each child gets older I will hopefully get more free time (right). I wish that I could just explain my need for help for the 100th time and he would get it but I have decided it is not worth it and I guess I will get some sleep in about what 7 - 10 years from now. In addition, just think he wants me to get a full time job on top of all of this and still be able to take care of everyone and the house and go to school. I think I will go back to work and then hire a house cleaner and a nanny to give me a hand since I am not getting one from him.

That is my gripe for the week and I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend.

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