Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
After our son was born, the instructions from the doctor were as follows.
- Increase your daily water intake.
- Keep a list of foods daily to monitor your calorie intake.
- Sleep as much as possible
- Do not lift anything more that 20lbs.
- Sit with legs elevated as much as possible.
- Take it easy for the next 14 days, no housework, no stressful activates.
Well I would love to say that I followed all the instructions to the letter, but I wasn't even close. I have tried to watch the amount of calories I intake because I am making breast milk and it takes a lot to produce and maintain my body. I have significantly increased my water so much that I think you could hear the ocean if you listened to my belly button. Sleeping is out because I am pumping every 2-3 hours and it's hard to get quality sleep that way. Lifting my toddler doesn't count on the not lifting things that weight more than 20lbs right, I mean how else would she get to bed, out of bed, on the changing table and off the changing table. Sitting with my legs elevated was necessary, because I would swell on a daily basis if I was on my feet for too long, which I was just about every day for the first week. The no housework rule went out the window on day two and I haven't slowed down much on that one because well I like to be able to see my floor.
The sad part about all this is that my husband is currently on medical leave due to the sudden arrival of our baby and I still could not find a way to really take it easy or relax. I am the mother so I guess that makes me the first line of defense when the kids want or need something. We could both be on the sofa and the kids will come to me and my hubby won't hear them make a request. It was somewhat annoying to have him always ask why are you up or why can't you relax, I finally had to tell him that it's not in my nature and that he needed to be more diligent if he wanted to keep me on the couch. Well thank goodness my 14 days are almost over because all this relaxing and rest is driving me crazy. I guess I should have tried harder to take advantage, but as I mentioned before it's just not in my nature and really isn't possible when you have 5 kids at home and a husband who really doesn't know what it takes to keep the house running each day. Well back to resting, I have some homemade cinnamon buns to put in the oven.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
We had another visit with L4 yesterday and it was short but sweet. We only got to spend about an hour and a half with him but it was great because we got to hold him almost the entire time. L4 is doing very well, he has all his IV's removed and is only taking breast milk right now. He has gained weight and is now above the 4lb mark. Soon we will be able to try to nipple or nurse him once the doctor gives the all clear. He still is on oxygen, but it's very low and he has a feeding tube until he starts to show more interest in nipple feeds. The prognosis is good for our little man to be home in a few weeks. We won't be able to see him until Friday, but I hope that it is another visit filled with good news and good feelings. I am so grateful to the wonderful nursing staff at the hospital where he is staying, they make me feel confident that when I leave he is well taken care of and that helps me sleep at night. Praying for a speedy recovery.
It doesn’t feel like I gave birth, because he is not here for me to hold and cuddle. It’s not easy to get up for pumping as it would be if I were nursing a baby. I feel a little hollow right now, because I got a new baby, but not all the joy that comes with a new baby. It’s a strange feeling to know that my child is over an hour away from me and I can only see him every other day. It’s been hard to explain to my small children that L4 is staying at the hospital because he is sick and needs extra care that mommy & Daddy cannot give him.
I look at his picture everyday and feel a big hole in my heart. I feel like it might be hard for me to bond to my newest child because I am missing so much of his days. It seems silly because he won’t remember not being in my arms, but I will. My husband and I are trying to be there for each other, but it’s difficult because now money is tight, we have had very little sleep and we are stressed with all the driving and just trying to be there for all of our children. I have hope that my precious little man will come home soon and we will be able to take care of him and put all of this behind us. I dream of him every night and cannot wait to add him to our already crazy life. It’s not the easiest road I have ever taken, but I am glad to take this journey if at the end I get to meet my little man and hold him in my arms.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Our youngest children still need us to be here for them and that has been the hardest thing to handle. I am trying to be in two places at once and its just not working. The recommendation from the doctors is for me to rest and take it easy for 2 weeks. Not really something that I can do while running back and forth to the hospital and trying to keep life normal for the little ones who are at home.
My teens have not been the best help during this trying time and that has added to my stress. Money is a major issue right now because my husband is not working in order to help me keep the house running and being able to transport me to the hospital. My stress level needs to stay low in order for me to keep up my ability to produce milk.
Trying to keep a store of milk for my little man is a lot of work as many of you know. Its not easy to build up a supply while your baby is so far away. I am working on pumping every 2 hours but it just seems to be impossible to stay on a schedule. I know that its only been a few days and I hope that things settle down a little in the days to come. My biggest happiness is that my son is OK and has very few issues and I hope that it remains that way. I also am grateful for my health at this time, now all I need is some way to keep my sanity until they baby comes home and then of course I will lose it again.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Logan Ray was 3lbs 14 oz at birth and 21 inches long. We look for his health to continue to improve and can't wait until we can bring him home.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
My son was to attend college in the summer, and play football for a local city college and that dream is now out of reach. I have spend this entire year reminding him that only he can pass the 12th grade. I am usually a person who would yell and scream and demand that he does his homework and so on and so forth. This time I took a different approach because my son is a lot like me and does not respond well to threats. He has had every opportunity to get his needed credits, everyone has bent over backwards forwards and sideways for him, but he just doesn't seem to care. So I have decided to let him fail and see how he pulls his butt out of the fire. I am in no way looking for a last second miracle to happen in this case I have conceded to the fact that I will not have a graduate this year and if and when he graduates it will be on his own terms.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Dear little boy, you and I have been on this journey for a few months now and I have to tell you that I am very excited to see us getting closer and closer to the end. I know that we still have a long way to go before we get to meet face to face but its getting really exciting now. I have had dreams about you and all night I wonder what you are going to look like (more like me we hope). Its been an interesting time with your big sister making me reevaluate my decision to have another child on an almost hourly basis. You and I spend plenty of time together now, but what will it be like once you are here. Are you going to like the house filled with people, will you be able to go down for a nap in the middle of all this insanity. Are you going to be like L1 and jump at every noise or are you going to be like L2 & L3 who could sleep through anything.
There are so many question that I have about you and for you and I look forward to discovering the answers with you. My major concern right now is a name for you, we are still having issues in that area and I am on the losing time this time. I hope that your father and I can come together and give you a name that fits you.
As we continue our journey please note that yes, its always this loud in our house, yes there are a lot of people living here and yes you will be loved by all of them. There are many sleepless night ahead for us to discuss the rest of the matters but for now we are on this ride together and I want you to know that no matter what I am very happy to be with you. I look forward to welcoming you into the world, the only thing I ask is that you make it a quick and painless process for your old mother. SMILE
Love and Kisses from your mommy