The ungraduated son

This is one of the hardest blogs for me to write, but I feel if I get if off my chest I can have some peace.  I am the mother of an 18 year old boy who might not graduate.  Now I know that its not the end of the world because he can go to an alternative school and graduate or even go on line and repeat the 12 grade.  It would have been nice to know that my son is going to walk with the rest of the students in his class and it brings me shame and embarrassment to know that my son has not worked to his fullest potential and has basically wasted his time and our money during this last year. 

My son was to attend college in the summer, and play football for a local city college and that dream is now out of reach.  I have spend this entire year reminding him that only he can pass the 12th grade.  I am usually a person who would yell and scream and demand that he does his homework and so on and so forth.  This time I took a different approach because my son is a lot like me and does not respond well to threats.  He has had every opportunity to get his needed credits, everyone has bent over backwards forwards and sideways for him, but he just doesn't seem to care.  So I have decided to let him fail and see how he pulls his butt out of the fire.  I am in no way looking for a last second miracle to happen in this case I have conceded to the fact that I will not have a graduate this year and if and when he graduates it will be on his own terms. 

Since he was a child school has never been his favorite thing and he has always had difficulty.  He has ADD but we have been dealing with that and I feel it has gotten better.  I pray that everyone else would understand that at some point his future needs to be in his own hands and letting him fall on his face is they decision that I have made.  In the next 20 days school will be over and no he will not be the only kid in our town, not to graduate, but I wish that it was different.  I really wish that I was going to be in the stadium and would hear them announce my son as a graduate of 2010.  My next child is due to graduate in 2012 and I hope it will be an easier road with her then it was with him.  I love my son and wish him the best of luck and most of all I hope to see him find his way in the world and learn from his mistakes.