Family Disconnected

I have been wondering how everyone deals with their families and their extended families.  I recently had a discussion with a friend in regards to our families to be more specific my in laws.  She was curious to know who the relationship went so wrong so fast.  I am not sure that I really have an answer for that but I know that it had a lot to do with misunderstanding, misjudgement and just plain old stubborn behavior on both sides. 

I was told that if you love a person then you have to deal with their family and you have to love their family as your own no matter what.  I don't feel that way, why should I have to sit across the table from someone who I cant stand or who cant stand me.  It seems to me that if my husband really loved me he would not force me to spend time with people who have nothing nice to say about me and who have little or no respect for our relationship.

After that talk my husband and I decided that we would not force each other to deal with people who cause stress on our relationship or who we do not feel are good people to be around our children.  What we learned from our bad times with his family is that our relationship should come first and that its not fair to force the other person to deal with a bad situation just because they are family. 

I do not require my husband to come with me to every family event but he comes because he is OK with my family.  Fortunately for me we no longer live close to his family but he assures me that I would not have to attend family functions. 

I also learned that I can not fix issues that really don't have anything to do with me and a persons past can dictate their future in some area.  So no more bad holiday dinners for me and no more fake family moments just to show how much I love my hubby.  I think this might have been the best gift he gave me since the kids.  I know it seems harsh, but with all the things that went on I feel that just putting our family immediate family first is the best choice that we could have made, but I am still sad that things went so wrong and I do hope that one day things will get better. 

Lets hope that time can heal some wounds.

What will the New Year bring?

Well here we are again about to roll into yet another year. Am I excited, a little bit this year will bring another child to our family and my husband will begin his new job in January. It seems like this year is starting off a lot better then last. We are actually looking forward to all of the new things the new year will bring and we hope that it will be better then the last. Our holiday was much better this year, we were able to afford to get the kids most of what they wanted, my older kids were very understanding and asked for shorter if not just as expensive items. It was a thrill to see how excited everyone was and has been since Christmas and I am happy to say that we are all looking forward to our New Years Eve celebration, just a small family gathering with loads of food and music. My husband and did not purchase gifts for one another this year so we have decided to use a small amount from our tax return to both get something that we really want. With the new year come new hope that things will be calmer, and less complicated in our lives but who knows if that will really happen. There has been so many thing that we have dealt with in the last 12 months and I am happy to say that we came out stronger in the end. This next year will also bring the graduation of my son from high school, its both exciting and sad. I am very proud of all of my kids and especially my teens, they are very supportive and helpful when they want to be.
Its the year of the Tiger and we are very excited to see what it holds in store for our family. From our family to yours Happy New Year