The single Married mother

 I am a happily married mother of five going on six kids. I have a husband who works 5 days a week and goes to school full time. I too go to school, but I also take care of the kids and run the house on a daily basis. It has come to my attention that even days that he is off I am the primary care giver to our children. Do not get me wrong he does help with little things, like dropping kids off at school, and he now helps with giving baths since it is hard for me to bend over now. I have been a single parent before when I had my first child and it was hard, but I had the help of my mother. It is not that he is not capable of doing things; he just does not do them. Old school parents who believe that a man has his job and a woman has hers raised him. My mother on the other hand primarily raised me and I believe that it should be an equal thing when it comes to kids.

My husband and I go to be at the same hour, but I get up several hours before he does, to cook and clean and deal with the kids. He gets up eats, and then goes to work out or goes to do his homework. I do not have that luxury; I have to get up before the kids do just to take a shower by myself. I often find myself wondering how in the world I have allowed this to go on for so long. You would think that I would have noticed this after the first few kids’ right, well I did but I just let it be and now I really have no supporting arguments. Therefore, I have put myself in this position and here is where I will continue to be. I have 2 kids who can take care of themselves, but my 3 youngest are a real handful and I just wish I could get him to understand it’s not easy to do it all alone. He does see me struggle and always tells me that I do too much, but if I did not do it who would. With baby #6 on the way, I know that I will be up late at night and early in the morning because there will be no help from my husband and he will not lose any sleep over this. Does this make him a bad person, nope, but it does make me an idiot for allowing it to go on for so long and not being able to change it.

In the larger picture I am grateful for my husband he does love me and the children and even if he is not really helpful around the house or with the kids I should be happy that he is here and makes the money. I have chosen to take it all in stride and hope for the best as each child gets older I will hopefully get more free time (right). I wish that I could just explain my need for help for the 100th time and he would get it but I have decided it is not worth it and I guess I will get some sleep in about what 7 - 10 years from now. In addition, just think he wants me to get a full time job on top of all of this and still be able to take care of everyone and the house and go to school. I think I will go back to work and then hire a house cleaner and a nanny to give me a hand since I am not getting one from him.

That is my gripe for the week and I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend.

How Much Time is Too Much?

Recently I was watching a show that stated that women make their own workload; they were talking about stay at home moms.  Is it true do we creates hectic schedule so that people will feel sorry for us or do we actually have busy days? 
I have to admit that a lot of times there are moments in my day when I do get to sit down and enjoy a moment or two too myself and although they are few and far between it does happen.  In a typical day, I do cook, clean, and take care of the children and that does take a lot of time but I believe that I do actually have more time then I admit to my husband and myself.  For the next few weeks I am really going to re-evaluate how much time I spend doing each chore and how much time I spend alone.  Sleeping, eating and schoolwork will not count as free time, but time on the computer and time watching TV will.  I know that with three little girls' home all day I am very busy at times and I know that I also have down time when the youngest one is napping and the oldest one is at school. 
Does this mean that my day is not hectic?  Does this mean that I do not actually do as much as I think I do?  Not sure of the answer right now, but I know that this little experiment might help me learn that I can do things more efficient or that I can do them differently.  Therefore, as of Monday I will seriously look at my daily schedule to see when I am the busiest and what things I can move around to help me produce a more productive day.

Back on the horse

  Well its been a while since I last posted and I have to say not much has changed. We have been in our usually mode of chaos and craziness. I have been getting great checkups with my doctor my only issue is I have to gain some weight (never heard that before), only 3 pounds but its important for me and the baby. Our little boy is getting closer to being part of our loving little family here I am just a week away from the third trimester. We are about to celebrate yet another birthday on Saturday, our Laila will be 4 and she is ready for her birthday to get her. She asked when her birthday was the other day and I said "its right around the corner", note to self don't say that to a 3 year old because she was looking around corners for days. The weather is getting nicer the days are getting longer and its getting close to that wonderful thing called spring break here for us, and then of course summer vacation. I will be trying to post more often as soon as I find a rhythm with my homework and my house work and I have to admit still not having a laptop is not cool. I look forward to the day I can order my mac book and my life will be good again. Well back to the grind, gotta get ready to pick up Lily from preschool and head to the health fair at the kids school.

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The View Recap: Week March 8 -12

Monday March 8th:  Ok, this week on the view they started without Whoopi and I was of course dissapointed since she makes the show funner, but it was still a good start.  Well Vanessa Williams joined the gang and I always feel sorry for the guest host because they don't get to talk and of course it happended again.  They talked about the confession that could free Amanda Knox and the Jaycee Dugard tape that was realease to the media asking for privacy.  They also discussed the teenager who went missing Chelsea King and how her body was located after mising for almost two weeks.  Also Sherri joined them via skype to talk about her time on the red carpet. 
Tuesday March 9th:  Whoopi and Sherri were both back and i really enjoyed the show.  Andy Garcia and his daughter Dominik Garcia-Lorido were on the show to talk about thier new movie City Island. I enjoyed seeing a non dysfunctional family who can work together.  I wish the interview had been longer.  The also had some authors on to discuss their book, Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation.  I have to tell you that was a very intersting segment and I have decided that it is on my list of books to read. 
Wednesday March 10th:  All the co host were on this episode and one of my favorite actors Forest Whitaker came to discuss his new movie, Our Family Wedding.  He also taked about his movie with Jude Law, Repo Men.  I have to admit that I would like to go see the family movie and my son wants to see Repo Men.  It was a good interview.  Last but not least former governor Jesse Ventura was there with his new book, American Conspiracies, it will not be on my list of  must reads but he is alway very entertaining. 
Thursday March 11th:  Sir Elton John was there and it was just more then I could handle.  I was looking forward to this episode all week, and as usually he did not dissapoint.  Eric McCormack was there to discuss his new Lifetime movie, Who is Clark Rockefeller?  I am looking forward to watching that its recording right now.  I have missed him and was sad to see that his last show was not continued.  National Enquirer's Barry Levine was also there to talk abou the fact that they have been on the front of a lot of breaking news stories lately which is not how things were previously.  I still wont read it but it is intersting to know that they do actually have real journalist working there. 
Friday March 12th:  Sad to say that I was unable to see this one because it was not recorded. Christopher Walken, Carolina Herrera, Carol Leifer were on and I will be watching it in the moring after the kids go down for a nap on the internet.

“I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a tote bag or other The View branded items to facilitate my review.”

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Reflections

This week was to say the least one of the most interesting of the month for me. I turned 37 on March 10and I have to tell you it was not scary at all. I found out on Tuesday that we are expecting a little boy in July, my husband is beside himself with joy. It was a week full of reflecting on where I have been and focusing on where I need to go. I finished another set of classes and I actually found the time to fit in study time and class time. I have a planned strategy for myself and my children when it comes to my school time and it might actually work. My girls started a new playgroup that is twice a week and I have committed to getting them there both days regardless of how I feel. Its good to let them have some free range time, plus it allows me some gossip time. I look forward to next week bringing new surprises and new challenges. Here's to being one year older and just a little bit wiser.

General Hospital in Review March 1-5

Well with Elizabeth trying to take control of her future I have hope for her, but not for Nikolas who still has hope for a future with her. Has he not seen the look in her eyes when Lucky walks into a room. Sonny is still walking a fine line with Dante and Micheal and I can not wait for the truth to come out. I am sick of Sonny and Carly holding on to this secret for all the wrong reasons. Alexis would do double time to help out Micheal and so would Jacks. Not sure if I like the story line with Johnny and Ethan, still a little annoyed with him being such a jackass.

“I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.”