Bells will be Ringin

Summer is Over, where did it go?

School Officially started for us the week of Aug 15.  It has been a real adventure getting back into the grove of waking up early in the morning.  With my new job I am only able to run them to school in the morning and Daddy handles the rest of the running around while I am in my office hard at work.  The little girls are working on their 1st full week of school and since they are returning to the same school they attended last year they are all good.  My oldest has had a few issue here and there but mostly with scheduling or should I say over scheduling herself.  She decided to join the Volleyball team  this year on top of being on the Knowledge bowl team, house captain, and oh yes there is her academic schedule to deal with on top of looking for colleges.  Its been a really storm of paperwork and last minute supply runs but all in all so far so good.  My husband and I decided to keep the 4 year old home one last year and skip preschool, she has enough social skills already.  We have registered her and our 2 year old son for ABCMouse.com and they both love it.  I feel like we could save the money for her tuition this year and apply it to her tuition next year.  It also gives my husband some time to spend with her before she heads off to school next year.

This years biggest challenge is with my husband being home full time and me working full time.  He is going to have to deal with the wacky schedules and the never ending phone calls from teachers, coaches, and school nurses.  He will also be handing the doctors appointments for our ADHD child and its a little nerve racking but I am trying to let him handle things in his own way.  Working from home does allow me to assist in the housework every morning before i hit the phones and it also allows me to have lunch and dinner with them.  It has also allowed me to load and unload the washer/dryer while on break.  Also starting in September on top of working I will also be retuning to school full time to finally finish my BA, with my husband home I should not have any excuse as to why I can not finish.  So with another school year ahead of us we are prepared to handle what ever comes our way and hopefully this year things will run a little smother now that I finally have some help.

Time is my enemy

Things in my house are always a little on the crazy side and time always seem to be short.  I have all but given up hope of putting my family on a schedule.  I have tried and failed so many times that I am exhausted.  Currently I am training at home for a WAH position from 8 pm -midnight for the last few weeks.  I still have several weeks to go and my 3 1/2 hours of sleep is starting to show.  My husband works 12 hours 5 days a week and has 2 days but it only feels like one.

With all this going on I had to make a hard decision to not continue with my schooling.  Believe me when I say it was not an easy decision but in the long run I was just burned out of school and needed the break. I look forward to going back soon but for now I am pleased with my choice.  

So as I type this blog, my class has ended and everyone in my house is asleep.  My husband is at work and its just me and the two dogs up right now.  Its hard work juggling all the balls I have in the air but I believe that I will make life better for my family once I have started contributing to our family income.  

I look forward to the day when I have some free time and I can enjoy all those things in life like TV, reading, and sleeping.  Is it worth it to drive myself in the ground or am I going to drive my entire family crazy in the process and fall flat on my face.  Only TIME will tell

Jayde

Where's Jayde?

Looking in the mirror today was strange, who the heck was that chick? Sadly, it was me. Two quick questions, when did I get that old and why didn't someone say my gut was that big? Or months now I have been trying to figure out who i am on the inside and neglecting my outside. Today it starts anew, no this is not a new years resolution; this is my awakening. My plan is to start of with small changes and see how it goes. I am a lover of sweets, pasta, bread and soda. My plan is to add exercise and make small adjustments to my diet. Week one 15 min daily workout Water intake daily Keep a log of food Fingers crossed and first workout done. Now it's off to grab a glass of water and then off to bed.

Looking for Balance

To help start the new year off I will be working on finding a balance between work and home life.  For the last few months I have been working from home and I have to say its not as easy as I thought it would be.  The line between work and home can get very blurry.  I never feel as those I am doing enough on either side. 
For the next few weeks I hope to find that balance and be able to achieve some sort of order in all this chaos.  The main concern is having enough time for the following

1. Myself
2. Family
3. My marriage
4. School
5. Work
6. House

At this point each area has suffered to some degree and its getting crazy.  Did you notice that I put myself at the top of the list (first).  I hope to really be able to keep myself at the top of the list.  I am looking forward to the new year as I will have yet another 12 months to reach my goals of balance and harmony in my life.  So far this holiday season has had a few moments but for the most part I have kept to my promise of remembering the reason for the season and its really made a difference in my mood about the holiday.  Well off to finish some homework and housework before I get caught up in the computer again.

Any suggestions on how you other WAHM balance work and home life would be greatly appreciated

Jayde

Yes, its that magical time of year again when my kids ask me everyday if today is Christmas. I know that there are people who love this time of year but it really is exhausting for me. No matter how much I shop, I always feel like I have forgotten someone. With every day that goes by I lose a little bit of my soul and my Christmas cheer. I use to look forward to this time with excitement and glee. Now I dread the fact that the holiday season is just around the corner. I have 2 birthdays to celebrate and then of course the birth of our savior. Its not easy to include birthdays into the holiday festivities. This year I hope to hold on to my cheer a little longer and I also hope to recapture some of my soul. Its not the holiday or the kids that kills but the commercialism and the fact that once Halloween is here they are cramming Christmas down my throat. I really use to get annoyed with the "Celebrate the Reason for the Season" commercial, but now I get it. Its not the gifts, the tree, the 2nd Turkey dinner in 30 days but its the celebration of the birth of the lord and the celebration of family and friends.




So my chirstmas wish for this year is that we all remember why we celebrate and take a few things off of our busy list and enjoy some silent nights and some peace on earth

This week has been full of sadness and happiness all rolled into one.  Almost a week ago my maternal grandmother passed away after suffering a stroke several months ago.  She was the last grandmother I had living and its been a difficult time.  I am dealing with the fact that when I was born all of my grandparents and all of my great grandparents where alive.  In fact when I graduated high school they were still here.  I hate that my children can not say the same.  My oldest son was the last one born with all his great grandparents alive and that was in 1991.  As you get older its not so much your mortality that you have to deal with but the people around you.  I remember my aunts and uncles still being in high school and now they are getting up there in age.  Its scary thinking one day they might not be here.  I have a large family and with it comes loads of love but also loads of people to lose.  I look forward to this weekend when we will put my grandmother in her final resting place as I know once again my family will gather together go give love and support to each other.  I also look forward because I want to make sure to take as many pictures for my children so that no matter what happens there will be pictures of family to remind them of who and where we come from.

****To Madear****

I love you and miss you. I was proud to come from such a strong stock of women.  You gave me hope that my life could continue on as I watched you go to work up until you were hospitalized.  I owe you a great thanks for raising such a wonderful women who would later become my mother.  You will always be remembered and loved for all of you strenght and wisdom.

Love

                                                       Jayde

I almost forgot the happy new, my son Shonn is coming to visit and although its for a sad reason any reason for him to come makes me Smile.

So what, who cares?

Its been so long since I have written a blog I almost forgot I had one.  I have been unbelievable busy the last month or so and it shows on my face. 

Its been an exciting time here in our house as my daughter has become interested in many colleges and we have so far taken two very interesting trips.  We embarked on colleges in our city and she decided to look into two colleges that are complete opposites.  First we went to open house at Rhodes College, I have to say it was beautiful.  Not sure if its the correct fit for her she is a bit of a free spirit but the level of excitement from the current students was refreshing.  Next we went for a visit of Memphis College of Art, I loved the fact that the students were all so free and easy going.  It is two different ends of the spectrum but I believe that she will keep her eye out and find the correct fit for her.

I decided to jump on an opportunity and will be working from home full time starting October 20th.  It has been a long road of hoop jumping but it has been worth it.  I had traing for 4 weeks and it was very intense and very informative but mostly very ehausting.  I look forward to this new opportunity and have every intention of given it my full effort.

Our house has gone through some major changes, we have spent the last few weeks training our kids to be a little more independent and a lot more quiet.  I will have to work in a quiet environment and the children have to learn how to depend on each other while I am working.  Its going to take at least a few weeks to get it perfected but I have faith that it will all work out. 

More importantly I have given up my effort for a perfectly clean house.  It has been told to me in no uncertain terms that this perfection takes a group effort and since our group is mostly made up of little kids and sleeping husband its just not a reality.  I have decided that our children will be responsible for their rooms and will help with other rooms so they learn how to clean.  I had to take over the play room since they never could keep it clean and I was in need of an office.  I have my office in the den closet and they are allowed to pay in the den when I am not working but they are required to pick up their mess or they lose play time in that room.  My husband is now helping out alot more when he is home since he realized that an angry, grumpy, sleep deprived wife is no fun.  My teen is a work in progress, but I ask a lot of her in the way of babysitting so I give her a small break on the cleaning, but she does have a list of things for her to handle on a weekly basis. 

Without the added pressure of trying to be perfect I am starting to feel a lot better and actually sitting down and having a serious conversation with my hubby about how we can help each other was much needed and will continue to be a weekly thing.  We are using as much technology to help us keep in touch with each other and be able to discuss issues as they come up. 

For me the last and most important issue was time management.  I have evernote, dropbox, cozi, and Jing to help us keep in touch as a family.  With evernote and dropbox no matter where I am I am able to work on school work and pass budgets and important web pages to my hubby.  Cozi helps keep us all on a calendar that I can set up at one central spot and send out to all that are participating including my mother.  Jing is my favorite since it helped me keep notes in school without actually writing or typing.  I just click and save the images on my computer and its done.  Best of all I save it all on my dropbox which leaves space on my computer and lets me access it from my phone, ipad, laptop, and desktop.  So I hope to go back to blogging on a regular basis but with so much on my plate I guess I will have to see how things go.

Looking forward to bigger and better things.

Jayde

Count down to the begining

I recently decided to add WAHM to my title.  I have opted to join a company that will allow me to work from home for real companies and still be here for my kids.  In the my joy, I forgot how much training would be involved.  I have added a 4hr class to my list of daily chores and another few hours of homework everyday.  For a lady who could not get it together before now its imperative that I get my act together.  My goal is to continue with schooling ( I have assignments due tomorrow), and with everyones schedule.  So far the week and a half as not been good or bad, just really really busy.  I have decided to look for as much advice as possible and now am working towards finding a balance between work, home and school.  I had to enlist my husband and my daughter (16) to pick up a few more chores.  Its going to be a work in progress for a while and I have even put the little kids to work.  Now its more of a family affair to take care of the house and I thinks its how it should have been.  I do not know how this will all turn out but I look forward to this wild new adventure.





Please Sir may I have another?

So the hubby and I had a talk in regards to expanding the family this past weekend.  It was more of a causal talk that turned into a true revelation.  Our family will grow no more, entrance is harder then getting a BLACK America Express card. 

I always knew this day would come, but I also thought I would be the one slamming the door.  To my surprise and apparently my husbands I am still open to adding to our little group.  The question is WHY?  My kids drive me crazy on a daily....hourly.......almost constant basis.  I have the worst time management skills of all the people with large families that I know (I know about 20).  My house is a mess and could never truly be 100% clean (I think it might be a scientific fact).  I am right now hiding in a bathroom so as not to be interrupted and I work in a closet just for the quiet.  So again I ask WHY do I still feel the need to add more.  There is also my age, I am no spring chicken and my prime is now in my rear view mirror.  My oldest son will be 20 and by baby is 1 and in between there are so many numbers (yes, I remember how old they all are). 

 Let me say that I in no way want to be pregnant again, that ship has not only sailed, it was burned and sank to the bottom of the possible idea ocean. 

In a word its just a feeling really.  I know that somehow, someway I am not finished (when I told my husband he just rolled his eyes).  I feel that there is space here for someone else maybe even two.  Its a scary feeling, its like asking for a cup of gasoline to add to the flames of an already burning house. 

I did toss our the notion of adding to our family via adoption and without missing a beat he let me know that since he had a vasectomy he was officially done and there was no way he wanted anymore.  It was a devastating and hard thing to hear, but I guess I just have to keep the faith that either the feelings will subside or a way will be provided. 


So he put his foot down and for now I will listen, but if for some reason we get an opportunity to add to our family then I will surely jump at the chance.  Here is to HOPE.

Family Disconnected

I have been wondering how everyone deals with their families and their extended families.  I recently had a discussion with a friend in regards to our families to be more specific my in laws.  She was curious to know who the relationship went so wrong so fast.  I am not sure that I really have an answer for that but I know that it had a lot to do with misunderstanding, misjudgement and just plain old stubborn behavior on both sides. 

I was told that if you love a person then you have to deal with their family and you have to love their family as your own no matter what.  I don't feel that way, why should I have to sit across the table from someone who I cant stand or who cant stand me.  It seems to me that if my husband really loved me he would not force me to spend time with people who have nothing nice to say about me and who have little or no respect for our relationship.

After that talk my husband and I decided that we would not force each other to deal with people who cause stress on our relationship or who we do not feel are good people to be around our children.  What we learned from our bad times with his family is that our relationship should come first and that its not fair to force the other person to deal with a bad situation just because they are family. 

I do not require my husband to come with me to every family event but he comes because he is OK with my family.  Fortunately for me we no longer live close to his family but he assures me that I would not have to attend family functions. 

I also learned that I can not fix issues that really don't have anything to do with me and a persons past can dictate their future in some area.  So no more bad holiday dinners for me and no more fake family moments just to show how much I love my hubby.  I think this might have been the best gift he gave me since the kids.  I know it seems harsh, but with all the things that went on I feel that just putting our family immediate family first is the best choice that we could have made, but I am still sad that things went so wrong and I do hope that one day things will get better. 

Lets hope that time can heal some wounds.

It comes and goes

This is my second week of actually keeping with my Flylady plan.  I have been able to get up and get dressed from head to toe each day.  I have been able to keep the kitchen clean all day, even with the kids home from school.  I did have a very difficult time keeping it clean with the hubby home over the weekend but I got back on track Monday morning.  Its been a nice change of pace and it has actually leaked over into the rest of my life.  My house is a little cleaner now because I decluttered and I have less to do to keep it clean.  I have also enlisted all the children to help in some form or fashion.  I have allowed the den/playroom to be cleaned only 2 times a day because it where the kid play and I don't spend  a lot of time in there. 

I have to admit that I did not think it was gonna work but I have been making a lot of progress and I am actually very proud of myself.  Well on to another week and another task, I am looking forward to seeing what's next.

A simply kind of life

Well in only a few weeks my children will be embarking on school and I will be embarking on a crazy schedule.  My oldest daughter has already started school,she is attending a two week boot camp for all work study students.  It is giving me the chance to get the little girls ready for the early schedule.  I myself am working out all the bugs since this year I will have early days thanks to my daughters work schedule and it will also be my longest day.  I plan on having all items prepared in advance or my life might fall apart.  I owe my new lease on life to flylady, which as really been helping me get into a routine.  I have had a full week of keeping a clean sink at nigh, now I am working on de-cluttering my house in anticipation of the new school year. 

The plan for this year involves two different schools with two similar schedules.  I will be the taxi (chauffeur) for my girls and I will be the activities directory for the two little ones at home.  I have loads of things to print our for the pre k set, not sure what to do with the baby yet.  I hope to get a sitter in at least twice a week to help me keep up with my school work. I failed a class this semester, trying to be super mom, super student, and super wife, with no real game plan.  I hope that I can accomplish all that I have set forth and I know that staying on task will not be easy.

Now before I get in the bed I have a sink to polish, clothes to set out and electronics to put on the charger so that I am ready to go in the morning. 

GOAL:  Building habits that will make my life easier and learning that I can not do everything and still be sane.

What is the beginning of the school year bringing into your life?
Are you ready for the kids to go back to school and your life to get crazy again?
What habits have you had to learn since becoming a mom?

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No closer to clean. Day 10

Well its been a while since I started my mission to clean my house and I must say that on the first 2 days I did make great progress.  Now, with that being said I have had some major set backs.  Our air conoditionor is out and that leaves us with a window unit until our landlord decides to get off his ass and pay to have  new unit installed, which puts my husband in the living room sleeping on the couch. It wouldn't  be so bad, but the heat index is crazy right now and until the temperatures go down we have to do what we have to do.   It has made it impossible for me to do any cleaning during the day because if I make any noise he is one seriously grumpy man.  Even cleaning the kitchen is difficult if I cant make any freaking noise.  I am not sure how I am going to get this house together as long as he is on my couch.  Right now I am searching the classified for used window units to put in the bed room so I can get him off my couch and get back on my cleaning band wagon. help

I am glad to report that I did get the main bathroom together and the kids room are all unpacked and in order.  Now for the little girls room, I made an executive decision that they no longer have toys in their room.  I have moved all the toys to the den and they are responsible for cleaning it.  I have implemented the" surprise clean" when they hear me play a particular song on my ipad they know its time to clean up whatever mess they have made.  So far so good

My kitchen is in order, but with my fridge in an odd spot it looks a little strange having a large hole where the fridge should be.  My new stove was ordered and will be here on the 27, I am so excited to see how it all comes togehter once the stove is in.

I am not sure I will be able to pull it all off in 30 days but It's still a work in progress.  Fly lady has been a big help in helping me stay on top of the little things before they become big things.

 

Lets see how things go this week, wish me luck

30 days to clean

As I sit at this computer I wonder to myself, why is my house such a mess?  It's not from lack of trying to clean, but I feel that my system is very flawed.  I have an average size family in my view, we have an average size house, but the amount of work to keep it clean seems to be increasing.  My husband believes that I need to be firm and put my foot down and make the children more responsible.  I tend to agree but don't really know where to start, I feel like a tiny ship about to be swallowed by the ocean. 

I have loads of laundry, loads of dishes, and loads of unpacking to get done, but I have to admit I just can't seem to get in a good place to accomplish anything.  I recently notice that I tend to move from room to room while I clean, bad habit and a bit distracting.  I also notice that once I leave a room and comeback I often forget what I was doing.  I have not required much accountability from my children and that has to change because it's affecting my ability to do my school work as well as other house work.  In no way to I want to have a perfect home, but I would like to be know that if someone stops by that they can sit on my couch and also use my bathroom. 

So this week my goal is to work on my inability to finish a project, to stay in one room at a time and to allow for distractions (1 year olds are notorious distractions).  My largest and most difficult is to make the children more accountable without turning into the crazy lady who yells at them a while they clean.  Lets see how this all goes because with a new house comes different responsibilities and so new challenges.  I am still at a lost as to what to do with my pantry, I think I might give that job to my teenager on grocery day. 

I will be making a list of chores that the children will be responsible for and I will also be making a list for my hubby.  Yes, he works 12 hours but he also needs to do a few things to help our household run smoothly.  My goal is to have a better household in 30 days and be more prepared for when school starts in August. 

30 days to go and I will try to journal my struggle of keeping my sanity and learning to keep my house in order.  I will try to post photos of how the mess has taken over my house and I havent even been her for a week yet, so embarrassing. 

Ready Set Go

PS on the advice of a friend I have joined flylady and I hope that they will be a source of motivation and support during the time of change. 

QueenKai

aka Jayde N

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What is your Problem?

What is your problem?  I think I asked that question 1000 times these weekend to my kids, and now I am asking you.  This week I have read a lot of "rants" about everything from Public Assistance to Animal Lovers, it was a strange week. 

I find myself wanting to know what is getting under your skin?  I myself have a few issues that I would love to rant about but I just haven't given myself the licence to sit down and vent.  I know that people feel better once they vent, but do you feel better if you publicly vent and your dislike or anger is there for people to see even months later?

Would you post your rant if you knew it would hurt someone?  Would you post a rant that would be considered racist, sexist, or just not politically correct.

I want to know how you feel so lets get the dialogue started and maybe some of my rants will be some of your rants and we can vent together. 

The Re Begining

This has been the summer of new beginnings for all in my house.  This week my teenager got her summer packets for school, they are for Pre Cal, AP History, and AP World History.  She is actually very excited and although I have to buy actual books (no kindle versions allowed) I am also excited to see her read a few classic.  My husband, has returned to the world of the working and although the 12 hour shifts are not easy to deal with for either of us we are glad to have a bigger income supporting our family.  I have put in my two weeks notice, I am currently training someone to take over my job and believe me I am relieved, excited and glad that my job is coming to an end. 

My husband and I have done the math over and over again and it just doesn't add up because of childcare, gas, and of course the manic schedules that we have. Just running our house on an average day is crazy, but add in doctors appointments, school plays, dropping off and picking up from school, grocery shopping, and of course many other thing that are impossible to do when I am not here.  Unlike many people, I do not have a mother or a mother in law available to watch the children or shuttle them back and forth for me. 
We are also officially moving next weekend and that in itself is another set of issue that need me at home to deal with.  I am at this moment shopping for school uniforms for the 3 girls who will be attending private school next year and hoping to have all of it done weeks before school starts so that I can start on Christmas shopping. 

I have a large family, I am the mother of many children, and I have to accept and embrace that my life is always in mid spin, in a tornado of chaos and always noisy.  I love the insanity that is our life and although I will miss the income, I know that its a benefit for me and a blessing that I will be able to spend this time with my children. 

Now, if I could just get back into a good rhythm with my school work all would be right with the world. 

Are you enjoying your summer?
What did you get your husband for Father's Day

Hot and Crazy

The past few months have been......well lets just say crazy.  We spend two weeks in a shelter due to the flooding in Memphis and us no being able to get to our home.  We had a vehicle die on us in route to work, our other vehicle has decided to act crazy still not sure whats wrong with it.  School has been out for a few weeks now, except my teenager who has been lazy and still has 4 test to take for optional school. Our little ones both graduated from PreK and Kindergarten, which I missed because I could not get out of work.  Its been one of those summers where you wish you were back in elementary school when your biggest worry was what to do all day.  I am not feeling the summer love at this moment and I am not sure I am going to.  We are planing a move on July the first and this time we hope to stay for at least 2 years where ever we are going, we are only moving houses, but I feel like I have moved 20 times in the last year.  The littlest boy has learned to crawl and pulls up which has brought about a new set of challenges and I have to say a sadness that he is getting older.  All in all it really hasn't been that bad and I have to say that some good things have come out of it.  Our teen was accepted to Catholic High and our little ones will be attending De La Salle elementary school next year.  My husband finally got a job and now that means I can come back home and return to my SAHM status.  I am currently looking for a work at home opportunity or business so I can contribute to our income, but I will not be holding my breath.  I got back into school and although it took sometime to get in my grove I think I will pull at least a B in both classes.  I am looking forward to all the craziness of the summer ending and looking forward to all the chaos of school time. 
Now, if only the daily temp could drop about 10 degrees this summer just might be OK after all.

Alright, how has your summer been so far?

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